Receiving Praise v Rejection
So you would love to play the piano, and you are aware that being ridiculed or criticised in some way is stopping you?
Perhaps you were playing, at any level, and somehow the comments of other people, rattled you and you now don’t play?
This whole thing about expressing ourselves, the truth of who we are, and playing a musical instrument potentially brings comments from other people.
Do you feel that it’s alright only if people make positive comments? Is it bad if people ridicule you, or criticise you, or reject you?
What if I said that the way to move forward with strength, is to learn to be neutral about other people’s comments?
That is, learn to not react to other people’s opinions of your self-expression. It would be understandable to seek praise and feel warm and fussy from adulation or appreciation.
Where I have come to in my journey of navigating these things, is to stay neutral. Why?
At the end of the day, in the privacy of my own mind and heart, I know where I am at in my expression. I know the truth. I know what kind of performance I gave. I know what my inner ‘set point’ is.
If I allow praise or rejection or expectations of other people to shift that set point, I am lost to myself.
The path I am on becomes no longer my own.
Therefore, the healthy response to praise or rejection is…. “thank you”.
Simple as that.
And then we return to our own path.
Coming back to my senses has for many years now been an important part of my self-care. There is a certain feeling I experience that tells me it’s time to be in nature or just resting at home. It’s time to come back to me, to my feelings – to align myself again. Switch the world off for a while.
There was a time when Sunday was considered the day of rest. This makes perfect sense to me. One day a week to be still and catch up with myself, get off the conveyor belt of life, feel what I am feeling, check in with myself, nurture myself.
It seems that good self-care is very much about being honest with myself about what I am feeling, and accepting myself in that moment. Then, lovingly navigating my way through it.
Feelings, self-care and self-love go together.
Of course, it’s often painful, and sometimes excruciating in all of our human messy fallibility.
Sometimes though, feelings are such a warm glorious companion, I wouldn’t want to be without them.
We dehumanise ourselves when we choose to live in our head instead of our heart.
We say no to the rich tapestry of feelings available to us and then experience meaninglessness and emptiness.
There are plenty of other cups in the cupboard.
This one is my daily go to cup.
What about the other cups?
Why not cycle through them – enjoy some variety?
There is something about this cup that is very special.
I love THIS cup.
I almost don’t need any other cups really.
When I first saw her at Alfresco Emporium she leaped out at me. Captured my attention. Love at first sight.
Then I looked at the price.
Why then did I buy the cup?
This cup is beautiful and was clearly made with a lot of care, fits very well in my hand,
and holds just the right amount of liquid.
It soothes my soul’s need for beauty.
I loved her from the first moment.
I still do and most likely always will.
err why is a cup a she? look at those beautiful curves.
I am reminded of the saying “We can’t get enough of what we don’t need”.
If I had applied some kind of reasoning or logic about the price of this cup, I would have created more of what I don’t need – an object to use devoid of love, and ultimately wasted my money. False economy.
Instead I chose the lifetime value of love and beauty.
With this cup I am partnered in writing these letters to you, and writing music and stories for children, and giving lots of love out into the world.
So, was buying the cup at the high price worth it? Absolutely.
For many years already it has brought me joy every day, and will continue to well into my future.
With this cup I bring joy into my world, and hopefully your world too.